10 Things I Learned at 23

23 taught me how to lose things that were never mine, how to hold myself with a little more grace, and how to keep laughing even when life felt like one giant plot twist. These are the things I learned, loved, and lived my way into this past year. Lessons that didn’t come gently, but came faithfully.

1. You’re not losing the plot. The plot is losing you.

This one came to me as I was slowly losing my mind. I thought I was spiralling into some great abyss of madness — depression, anxiety, hopelessness. But the deeper I fell, the more I realised it wasn’t insanity — it was transformation. I was trying to cling to a version of life that no longer fit, trying to stay small when everything in me wanted to expand. Growth can feel like a breakdown. So if you’re feeling a little unhinged, it might just be growing pains. Don’t be afraid — you’re unfolding.

2. It’s just you and your silly little life. Go on and be your favourite self.

Oh, as soon as you realise no one is really watching, I hope you feel free enough to live the life of your wildest dreams. Seriously. Be silly. Wear the outfit. Say the thing. Dance in public. Life is too short to live on mute. I want to giggle at the ridiculous things I did simply because they made me happy. Romanticise your silly little life. You’re allowed.

3. Guilt and shame thrive in secrecy.

I learnt this the hard way. I read Brené Brown and felt something in me exhale. She said: people need to earn the right to hear your story. But once they have — tell it. Secrets are the breeding ground of shame. And shame will convince you that you're unworthy of love, connection, healing. The antidote? Vulnerability. Honesty. Compassion. Tell your story to safe people. Let the light in. You’ll be amazed at how much lighter you feel.

4. Self-worth will save you.

Self-worth doesn’t scream — it whispers: “you deserve better.” It lets you walk away without slamming doors. It lets you leave quietly, peacefully, because you know something isn’t for you. You don’t fight for crumbs when you know you were made for the feast. Self-worth is knowing when to exit the room and not explain yourself. It will save you from begging for love, chasing validation, or settling for pain.

5. We are wired for community.

This might be my greatest revelation. No man is an island — and trying to be one nearly broke me. We need people. People to laugh with, cry with, sit with in silence. People to shine the torch when we can barely crawl. Community isn’t a luxury; it’s survival. It’s how we grow, thrive, and heal. You can go far alone, but not deep. And deep is where the joy lives.

6. Dare to dream.

This life is nothing without dreaming. Real, wild, audacious dreams. The kind that make your chest tighten with excitement and fear. Dreaming is rebellion in a world that tells you to be realistic. Don’t be afraid to reach for the stars — and if you fall, at least you’ll land somewhere moon-kissed.

7. Have hobbies.

Please. For the love of your sanity. Have hobbies. Not side hustles. Not monetisable passions. But pure, joyful, pointless fun. Life is stressful enough — schedule structured rest. Paint badly. Bake something unnecessary. Tend to a plant. Hobbies are how we soften the edges of a hard day. They save us quietly.

8. Exercise is healing.

One night I was feeling low, like really low. I dragged myself to the gym at 8:30pm, hopped on the treadmill and ran for 30 minutes. When I got home, I felt different — lighter. I made a beautiful meal, slipped into my favourite pyjamas, watched a movie, and felt like I had stitched myself back together. That’s what movement does. It’s not just for aesthetics — it’s therapy. Your body holds what your heart cannot say, and sometimes the best thing you can do is move through it.

9. Your body knows what’s up. Listen to it.

Our bodies are like wise old friends. They always know. They whisper before they scream — exhaustion, tension, illness, gut feelings. We’re just not always listening. I challenge you to get to know your body like you would a loved one. Ask it what it needs. Respond gently. It’s the only home you’ll ever live in every single day — tend to it like something sacred.

10. In a group of people who don’t believe in you, don’t let yourself be one of them.

Self-doubt isn’t cute. There are already enough people in the world who won’t get your vision — don’t join their chorus. Believe in yourself like it’s a religion. Be your own biggest fan. Some dreams are placed in your heart so specifically, only you and God can see them clearly. Walk in faith. Keep building. You’ll thank yourself for not giving up.

So, what was 23?

A little messy. A little magical. It was me finding home in myself. Me realising that the becoming is the whole point. So, here’s to 24 — may it be wilder, softer, freer. And may I never stop listening, dreaming, moving, creating, resting, and becoming.

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