10 Things I Learned at 21

Turning 21 came with revelations about love, relationships, and finding strength in vulnerability. This year taught me that self-love is the foundation of how we show up in the world, and bravery is the beautiful dance between fear and action. These lessons are for anyone navigating their own path to authenticity and connection.

1. Love Is a Doing Word

Love is more than a feeling—it’s a choice expressed through action. As 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 reminds us, love is patient, kind, selfless, and never keeps score. True love is demonstrated in how we treat others, and it always seeks to uplift, support, and protect.

2. How We Love Others Reflects How We Love Ourselves

Our relationships mirror our inner world. Patterns of criticism, unforgiveness, or perfectionism in our closest bonds often stem from how we treat ourselves. To love others well, we must cultivate self-compassion, acceptance, and grace. Healing starts within.

3. Good Friends Are Honey for the Soul

True friends are a gift—offering acceptance, understanding, and the freedom to be yourself. Surround yourself with those who celebrate your authentic self. Healthy friendships energise you and empower you to show up as the best version of yourself.

4. Radical Self-Acceptance Is the Key to Self-Love

Self-love begins with embracing every part of who you are—the good, the bad, and the messy. Transformation doesn’t come from self-loathing but from extending yourself grace. Let go of perfectionism and allow yourself to grow from a place of compassion.

5. Feeling Alone in a Crowded Room Is Real

Loneliness can strike even in the company of others. If you feel this way, know that your feelings are valid. You are not alone. Be gentle with yourself in these seasons and seek spaces where you feel seen and understood.

6. My Body Is a Temple

Your body is a sacred space where the Holy Spirit dwells. Honour it by being mindful of what you consume and how you care for it. As the song Resurrender by Hillsong says, “Make us a place where You delight to dwell.” Let this intention guide your choices.

7. Say No, Often

Boundaries are essential for self-respect. Saying yes when you mean no leads to resentment and dishonours your needs. Remember, “no” is a complete sentence—you owe no further explanation. Protect your peace by prioritising your truth over people-pleasing.

8. Loving Is the Sole Purpose for Which We Were Created

When we leave this earth, our legacy will be how we loved others. Love is the most powerful gift we can offer—it heals, connects, and transforms. As John 3:16 reminds us, God’s love is our ultimate salvation. Let love guide all that you do.

9. Speak Your Truth Loudly, Proudly, and Even When Your Voice Shakes

Living authentically means advocating for yourself and honouring your truth. Even if your truth unsettles others, it’s worth sharing because it’s yours. Speaking up—no matter how hard—frees you to live fully and unapologetically.

10. You Cannot Be Brave Without Being Afraid

Fear is the birthplace of bravery. Courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the decision to act despite it. Embrace the duality—being afraid doesn’t make you weak; it makes your bravery even more powerful. Let fear be your invitation to rise.

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