Choose Comfort Over Chaos

Comfort can feel unfamiliar when chaos has been your constant companion. In this post, I share my journey from embracing instability to learning how to find peace in consistency. It’s a process of unlearning old habits, confronting deep-seated fears, and allowing yourself to thrive in the stillness. If you’ve ever felt uneasy in calm, this is for you. It’s time to choose comfort over chaos and discover the growth that lies in stability.

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My therapist once asked me, “Does comfort feel safe to you?”

I remember sitting in silence, avoiding the question because the truth was hard to face. I knew the answer, but admitting it out loud felt like a revelation I wasn’t ready to confront. After a long pause, I reluctantly said, “No, comfort doesn’t feel safe to me.”

The reality was that chaos had become my default. I was addicted to volatile relationships and unpredictable situations, where the highs were thrilling and the lows, devastating. I had grown so accustomed to walking on eggshells, to living in uncertainty, that stability felt alien—boring, even. Adventure, to me, was found in the turbulence, the constant rollercoaster of emotional ups and downs. I had normalized toxicity, pushing away healthy relationships and chasing the chaos I knew all too well.

Comfort was frightening because, for me, when things were “too good to be true,” I expected them to end in disappointment. I had built a belief that nothing good ever lasts. And if it did, the inevitable fall would hurt far more.

But if you asked me that same question now, three years later, my answer would still be, "No," though it’s a much different “No.” I’m learning to be comfortable with comfort, and although we’re not the best of friends yet, we’re on the way. Every day, I’m getting more at ease with sitting in stability. I’ve encountered someone who’s shown me that consistency isn’t boring—it’s the bedrock of meaningful connection and growth.

I no longer seek or create chaos. I’m fully aware of my self-sabotaging behaviours, and I check myself before I spiral into old patterns. I’m learning to embrace the good when it comes, rather than waiting for it to fall apart. Disappointments still come, but I no longer let them keep me from fully experiencing the present. I’m out of survival mode, and I’m finally thriving on solid ground.

When chaos is all you know, comfort and stability can feel unsafe. But with presence, patience, and self-awareness, you can start to change that narrative. It’s not easy, and it’s not quick. You will feel discomfort and anxiety as you shift, and at times, it may seem overwhelming. But remember, nothing thrives in chaos. So breathe in, breathe out, find stillness, and embrace the beauty in the discomfort. There is strength in learning to be at peace, even when it feels uneasy.

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